He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
