they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
