Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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