dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
