How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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