So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
