Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
