he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
