he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
