Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
