help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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