he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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