I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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