toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
