can we get nightvision for the apartment?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i would one night stand the shit outta him
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Randomize
