It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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