I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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