last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
