We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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