so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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