There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
