I need help removing her.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
