so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
