Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
