Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
