So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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