She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
