We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
