bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
