How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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