Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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