His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
