found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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