A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
