yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
