Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
