So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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