the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
