your thong is hanging out like whoa
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
