In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
