He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
