I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
