I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
