when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
