I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
