Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
