In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
