i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
