she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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