He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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